Peace

 

We just came back from a restful mini-vacation at a friend’s home. Her place is nestled between water and mountains. It is one of the most peaceful places I know. I could sit out on her deck and stare at the water for hours (and almost did). The serene calm is mesmerizing.

Yet, up above her, in the mountains rages a huge forest fire. Firefighters have only been able to somewhat contain the fire. There are roads closed and favorite summer haunts prohibited due to the fire. We drove up to a more distant trailhead only to discover it was also closed due to fire/fire danger. We did enjoy the drive, especially the view from a bridge of multiple small falls cascading down a river. But around us hung smoke, a reminder that the fire was there.

Amazing how in the midst of inferno there are pockets of peace.

I think life is like that. Turmoil can be all around us and yet we can find ourselves in a spot of peace and solace. God promises us peace. He doesn’t promise the cessation of storms and troubles. The beautiful picture of the disciples in a little boat on a stormy sea, and Jesus walking towards them across the water. The storm was still blowing, but suddenly, predictably, Jesus was there. He calmed the storm, but first calmed the disciples. Another time He was in the boat with them and a storm blew up around them. Jesus was asleep. The disciples seemed to forget Who was with them, and Jesus called them on their lack of faith, after all, He was right there.

Storms and fires, wars and political upheaval will always be around us. For those of us who believe, God promises peace, a peace that passes understanding. We’ve all seen people who remain so calm in the midst of a traumatic event, such peace does pass understanding. How do they do that? For believers, the answer is Christ in us- our hope and our peace.

My problem, much like the disciples, is that I quite often forget He is here with me, ready to calm my fears and ride out the storm with me. After the fact, that forgetfulness seems so silly. I bet the disciples felt a bit silly too. It’s not really that I don’t trust God to keep his promises. It’s more that I forget to call out to Him, or think I can handle this situation, or just get too worked up to think straight. Often, in those situations, He steps in anyway, and His grace surrounds me even though I forgot He was there.

It was wonderful to be reminded that He is always with me, wanting to give me His peace, even as the fires burn in the hills above.

Kindness

I was waiting in line at the pharmacy this week. The line was long with only two assistants working up front. Often, with so many people to serve and too few workers, people get stressed under the pressure. They can understandably feel the need to be short with responses to move the line along. At the counter was an older gentleman. Both his insurance cards had been rejected. The assistant calmly explained that the man would need to call the company and see what the issue was. Rather than moving the customer along, the assistant offered to look for discounts so the man could at least take home his medicines. This took a little time, first finding one discount, but with further effort finding another for even $10 less.  Then he helped the man work through the final paperwork before finally moving him along.  All this while being calm and kind, even with the line hardly moving.

Even more surprising, no one was grousing in the line. If anything, the kindness of the attendants made those of us waiting even more appreciative of them. We knew when we reached the counter we too would be met with respect and kindness, not hurry and curtness.

We all appreciate kindness, because we’ve all experienced the opposite. I’ve wondered many times if the rude person at the counter in front of me really wants their job. Maybe they don’t, but this is the only job they could find. Sometimes when the person in line in front of you is hard on a cashier, the cashier takes it out on the next in line. I only know that when the cashier is kind, regardless of how they are being treated, I truly appreciate it (and know I could never do their job).

Service people are often treated like they don’t exist, or exist only for the benefit of the person in front of them. Our own selfishness gets in the way.  Once I manned the front desk at school on a Saturday PSAT test day. Kids and parents would check in with me, and I’d direct them where they needed to be and tried to answer questions about what to expect. Most parents were quite nice to me. Some just ignored me. Very few knew I was a teacher there and assumed I was “just the secretary”. One parent shoved some paperwork at me and told me to make copies for him, so he could work while he waited for his student. I complied, making copies isn’t that much of an imposition, but as I was handing the copies back to him, a parent of one of my students stepped up to say hello. It became obvious in our conversation that I was a teacher, not “just a secretary”, and the man apologized as he took his copies. So it wasn’t ok to demand things of a teacher, but if I’d been a secretary….

However, even being a teacher didn’t guarantee respect. One student, who was thinking of going into education, told me her parents were discouraging her from “settling” to be a teacher. Like teaching was the least favorable option for their child. Another time a student wanted me to go out and meet his mother and see their new car. The mother was on the phone and never got off.  She kept gesturing to her son to get in the car. Finally he told her I was his teacher and he wanted us to meet. Without stopping her important phone call, she looked over at me, summarily waved and then gestured again for him to get in to the car.

In some people’s minds there are a lot of little people, unworthy of their time or consideration. I’ve seen it and experienced it. It always feels so demeaning and hurtful, depressing even when you begin to expect it. So when someone continues to serve with kindness and generosity despite the rudeness, that’s a rare gift. Unfortunately such kindness does seem rarer today.  Often this is blamed on the pandemic, where we all somehow lost our social skills. I wonder if it really only gave us an excuse not to use them.

Times are hard, what with the economy feeling shaky and hopes for a positive future seeming darker. Anxiety is soaring. Most days it’s easier to just put our heads down, do what needs to be done, get through the shift and go home. Being kind to the people around us is just not necessary to completing the job and doing what needs to be done. That doesn’t mean we’re rude; we are just going through the motions, not really thinking about the person in front of us, or working beside us. We say the cursory words “Hi, how are you today?” and totally expect the “I’m fine, how are you?” in response. Then we say “good, thank you” and go about our business. It’s fun sometimes to throw people off and say “Not so great” or “It’s not been a very good day” and have the rote response “good, thank you” follow. They were just asking the question because they had to, and didn’t expect an actual, honest response. In fact, most people don’t want to hear anything other than “I’m fine” in response. Even more interesting is when you beat them to it and ask how their day is going, or if it’s been a hard shift – something that engenders something other than a rote answer from them. Making the conversation about someone else is a kindness.  

The New Testament has much to say about being kind. The key text refers to the fruit of the Spirit, the results in a life when the Holy Spirit has control. The Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and self-control. The word “fruit” is singular, so if we have one characteristic we have them all. And the result is totally Christ-likeness.  Believers in Jesus should be controlled by the Holy Spirit and producing this fruit. When people encounter us they should see all of these things. I might wish I were more patient or loving – but in truth, it’s our nature to often live counter to these characteristics. It really has nothing to do with losing social skills, and everything to do with whether or not I wish to live like Jesus or not.

Obviously there are kind, loving, patient people who are not believers. But to show all of these characteristics consistently, even when we are tired and the line is long and the last person who spoke to us was terribly rude, that is something only the Spirit can create in us. If anyone should exhibit kindness, it should be people who profess a belief in Jesus. I knew people whose parents ran a restaurant. They said the crowd they most fretted about were the after-church “Christians” on Sundays. To the restaurant owners, this Sunday crowd was the worst – impatient, unkind, poor, if nonexistent, tippers. How sad that their view of Jesus’ followers was this.

I seek, imperfectly, to give the Holy Spirit control in my life. I want to be loving and patient and kind, to be good and joyful, a peace giver who shows self-control. I know the only way I can successfully do this is to continually monitor who is in control. Sadly, too often, I’m the one calling the shots.

I don’t know if that pharmacy assistant was a believer or not, but his patient kindness reminded me of what I should be about.

  

What Would Jesus Do?

I find myself wondering if I really know what I think I know. Today we are surrounded by “fake news” and AI generated information and images – it’s hard to know if what I’ve bought as true is actually true at all. It’s such an odd time, where people I trust as sane and thoughtful believe the polar opposite of what I believe to be true.

For example, I happen to trust vaccines. I trust the science behind them. I’ve had success in taking them. I observe what happens when you don’t take them (the current measles’s outbreak, covid, even whooping cough). The anti-vaccination proponents have gained a lot of momentum, especially since RFK Jr took hold of the Department of Health. They are so convinced that the science is wrong. Vaccines are harmful, even deadly. This anti-vaccination crowd now contains people I know. 

Why do they believe science and practice have it so wrong regarding vaccinations?  None of what I’ve read by these proponents has convinced me to change my mind about the safety of vaccinations. But none of the information I have has changed their minds either.  I read somewhere that nothing can be proven 100%, and for skeptics, that little bit of unknown is enough to push on.

The list of issues grows daily where I find myself on the opposite side. I’m careful whom I speak with on these hot topics. None of their arguments have changed my mind – but it does make me wonder. I am so confident that I am right and they are wrong. Am I the crazy one who doesn’t believe in conspiracies? Have I been fed the wrong algorithm? How can we know anything is true or not?

For me, the only real measure is what the Bible says I should be thinking or doing, none of which is specific to anything in today’s political climate. But perhaps the Bible doesn’t have to say anything specific about immigration or vaccinations or national debt. Perhaps the more important things have to do with my personal mindset and actions.

Many years ago a man named Charles Sheldon wrote a book titled In His Steps. In this book he had a fictional pastor challenge his congregation to spend a certain period of time (a month?) trying to only do what Jesus would do. From this came the much over used and played with mime “What Would Jesus Do?” WWJD.  Pushing its overuse aside, as a believer there probably isn’t a more important question for living my life in today’s world. What would Jesus do with anti-vaccers, or conspiracy theorists, or our current national administration? 

The Bible tells us that God doesn’t want our sacrifices (religious actions). He wants us to act justly, do mercy and to walk humbly with God (Micah 6:8). Jesus told us to “love one another” (John 13:34).”Love your enemies” (Matthew 5:44).  Other passages speak of loving as Jesus loved, forgiving as Jesus forgave (Ephesians 4:32). Justice, mercy, humility, love and forgiveness – that’s enough to keep us busy the rest of our lives. Those commands tell me what it is I should be about, and they also indicate what I should be listening to and trusting in. Does this thing support justice, mercy, love, forgiveness?  Does this person I wish to follow walk as Jesus’ walked, or at least encourage and allow me to do so?

So when looking at current issues what do I see of Jesus’ truth? I’ve talked about abortion before. Do I seek mercy, justice, love and forgiveness when I think about and vote on that issue? God’s justice never over-balances His love and compassion. Since we are all sinners and can’t help but sin, I know that’s why God had Jesus bear the punishment for sin – justice – so He can love the sinners. People might say, “love the sinner and not the sin” but do we? So often the focus is on the sin when it needn’t be, since God has paid the price for the sin already; we are free, as He is, to love the sinner – love each other- as Christ loves us.

Immigration fits into this formula as well. The problem of illegal immigration is quite large, but are we handling it with love and forgiveness?  How many illegal immigrants are actual criminals, their illegal status not withstanding? Is it just or merciful to treat them as such? And when arrested are they treated with mercy and compassion? Are we encouraging, with our votes, a government that shows mercy alongside justice, as God asks us to?

If we look at the issues asking, “what would Jesus do”, I think it gives us a different lens. And not just for the issues, but for whom we elect as well.  Do our elected officials act justly, and show mercy and humility for every one of their constituents? I don’t think it matters so much if they claim to be Christian or not. I know that sounds like heresy, but too many claim to be Christian and not show any Christ-likeness. But we’ve seen non-believers practice many Christ-like actions. I think God would push me more towards the behaviors that honor His creation, rather than behaviors than demean and dismiss those He created in His image.

For me, this is a good way to deal with all of the ‘truths’ thrust at me today. The Word of God never changes, neither does His character. I can trust doing what Jesus did the best I can, relying on His strength to do so.  That’s what I’m supposed to be about, and it includes how I make decisions regarding the tough issues in front of us.

What would Jesus do?  Still a pretty contemporary question to be asking ourselves, isn’t it? 

Celebrating Diversity in our World

 

We were with friends this weekend, one of whom had recently returned from a trip to South Africa. She had amazing stories and pictures from her trip. This got us talking about the wonderful diversity of animals. My friend was telling us about her encounter with vultures and learning about their importance in the “circle of life” They may be ugly and creepy, but they are vital. She saw lions eating a water buffalo they had killed. Their guide told them once the lions were finished other, smaller cats would come in and eat their fill. This would be followed by other carnivores, but the feast would end with the vultures, cleaning up what was left of the buffalo like the garbage men of the savannah.

We watched the NBC series The Americas, and that experience was also one of amazement at all of the different animals on our continents, and how each has an important role to play in our ecology and wellbeing. I found myself asking why? Why so many different types of animals, birds, bugs?  Why not just one type of bird? Is there really an evolutionary reason for the many types of beetles we have around the world? Wouldn’t one or two be sufficient to do beetle work?

Annie Dillard, in her prize winning Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, came to ask these same questions. In asking she found her way to God. It makes more sense to have a Universal Designer than an evolutionary quirk to explain the diversity. She uses the term “prodigality”.

My yard at the coast is full of different bird songs. Our chosen son in Australia has a yard full of totally different birds and sounds, equally wonderful but vastly different. I am fully convinced God loves animals, and He loves diversity. Why have 350,000 different types of beetles? Because the creator wanted the diversity. Certainly many animals have adapted to their specific habitat and that answers for some of the variety – but mostly I think it was all part of the original plan.

Look at humans. We are also diverse. We come in a variety of sizes and shapes and colors. We present different talents and quirks. We might all be from the same place and have the same color, but we will still be widely different in our preferences and abilities. Even within families there are huge differences.

All this to say I don’t understand why all of the diversity, equity and inclusion programs have been deemed “racist” because they seek to level the playing field. To me DEI programs are very similar to my wearing glasses. Without glasses I’d be unable to drive or do a lot of the jobs people with natural 20/20 vision could do. Is it unfair that I get glasses to improve my sight? No. Is it unfair to have programs that allow disadvantaged groups achieve academic and workplace equality with the rest of us? No.

I really cringe at the idea of DEI being racist. Racist against whom?  White people. And since white people have predominately had the positions of power and privilege throughout the history of our country, I reject the idea that programs designed to help the disadvantaged are racist against whites. What disadvantage is there in being white? Did someone lose a job to a person of color? Was that a disadvantage or an inconvenience? The disadvantaged are disadvantaged because usually they are not white, heterosexual, middle class males.

I realize a lot of people don’t appreciate the diversity of humankind. They feel their particular color and traits make them special, or more important. I wonder if the ladybug feels more important than the dung beetle, or the bald eagle feels more important than the vulture.  Our own biases toward what makes something (or someone) important or beautiful figures into our prejudice.  Our fears of losing our positions of power or security also figure into the equation.

But God does not see us this way. God created us all in His image. If He loves the diversity in the animal world, imagine how much more He loves the diversity in the creation He made in His image. If we could look at each other as an image of God, maybe that would help us remove the biases. I know that often, just meeting someone whom we see as different can make all the difference. Just getting to know someone of a different race or sexuality can help us see God’s image rather than fear the difference. I also know that the Holocaust represents the persistence of bias if more visible differences are not present. The only way Germans could tell who was a Jew or who was not was the arm band they were forced to wear. So even if we remove color from the equation, we will find some other prejudice to hold against people.

 We need DEI programs to help us listen to the better angel in our ear. The angel that says everyone deserves a fair opportunity in school and work. The angel that reminds us we are all made in God’s image and needn’t fear someone just because they are different. The angel that shows us the beauty in all of God’s creation. The angel that assures us we needn’t worry about offering justice and mercy, equality, diversity and inclusion into our world. 

Agree or Disagree - Should I Weigh In?

 

I just read that the President has once again fired someone who disagreed with him. This time it was a statistician who was saying unemployment was up and job opportunities were down. The President wants the opposite to be true, and felt the statistician was being disloyal and untruthful. It’s true, you can lie with statistics, and you certainly can bend them or use them to sound better than they are (80% believe this to be true – so it must be true, but what about the other 20%? Or one quarter of the country says….but that means seventy five percent believe something else entirely). Not sure this statistician was doing any of that number bending, however.

Sometimes I think it would be nice to get rid of everyone who disagrees with me; nothing heinous, just fire them, or have them go somewhere else. Of course, that means I think I’m always right. And even though I might like that to be true, it is far from correct. We get into trouble when we think it’s all or none, black or white. It is rarely that simple. But still, it would be nice to not have so much disagreement.

Relationships can feel like minefields. I keep thinking the Covid disagreements are over (did it really exist, was it really so bad, didn’t vaccines kill more people than the virus, were masks really that effective…?), but recently I stumbled right into one. The person with whom I was talking believed the polar opposite from me about vaccines. It took me by surprise, I think because I assumed they had the same view as me. But no, they did not.  So, in that moment you can decide to step into the field and share your views, or you can skirt the field for the sake of the relationship, bite your tongue and find another topic.

Has it always been this way and I just wasn’t aware, or are we more prone to being “us versus them” in these issues, creating the minefield?  I know families who have been torn apart over politics, refusing to be around one another because they can’t hold their tongues and let the argument pass.  Sometimes it is just too hard to let the other person go without hearing your opinion, and most often that is because we feel our opinion is right and theirs is wrong, with no middle ground.

I find myself wondering how such intelligent people can believe such weird stuff, only to realize they think the same of me. Maybe we are all crazy.

There was a time, not so long ago, I would have waded into the minefield to send some volleys of my own across the field.  Now I try to pick my battles more carefully. Choosing to get into it or not by weighing the effect on the relationship. Is it worth it to rock this relationship or not? Could the relationship be strong enough for us to agree to disagree?

I’ve written a lot about my feelings regarding LGBTQ+ issues. The bottom line, I care more about the people I know than I do about whether they are Gay or Trans or whatever. But as a Christian that is a slippery slope. For many Christians they have to stake their territory on LGBTQ+ being wrong, sinful, period.  We have to choose the Bible, and the Bible says being gay is a sin.  OK, but it also says being angry and judgmental is a sin. And it is clear that to God even what we consider misdemeanor sins are still monumental to Him. Jesus died to pave the way for sinners to be forgiven, regardless of whether their sins were large or small, consequential or inconsequential – humanly speaking.  All sin put Christ on the cross in our place because we are all sinners.

Recently friends spoke about putting truth before relationship. I took that to mean that truth, what the Bible says about something, is most important. I happen to believe it is both/and not either/or.  The Bible has a lot to say about sin, but the bottom line truth is we are all sinners. Period.  There is no hierarchy of better or worse sins. God put relationship first by dying for our sins, so we can be forgiven and live eternally with Him.  That is truth, maybe the most important truth. Jesus said “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life.” So to stand for a biblical truth and believe that gives us permission to turn away from relationship – I don’t think so.  Jesus didn’t shy from relationships with sinners, because that would mean He couldn’t have associated with anyone other than Himself. And the people He called out were the sinners who felt themselves somehow beyond sinning and were judgmental of those they deemed sinners. They put truth before relationship.

I accept the truth that we are all sinners and only God’s grace can save all of us from ourselves. Christians still sin. We don’t have a free pass to heaven because we are Christian. The pass came as anything but free, Jesus giving His life for us, dying for our sins in our place. God has forgiven all of us, regardless of what we do, not because we didn’t deserve punishment for our sins, but because He was willing the pay the punishment so we could be in relationship with Him.

So as I stand in the minefield of controversial conversations today, the one’s I pick to fight are the ones that I feel maybe a little biblical perspective wouldn’t hurt. In the recent conversation, rather than say I thought my friends were wrong about truth versus relationship, I just shared that I feel, since we are all sinners, the truth God is asking me to pursue is to love whoever God brings into my life. Forming relationships with people gives me the opportunity to be Christ-like, loving, accepting and maybe a door will open for them to ask questions about what I believe and why. So if they are part of the LGBTQ+ community, and I have an opportunity to get to know them, that is what I will do. And not with some type of agenda, but rather because I feel that is what Jesus did. He just enjoyed the company of all people. And I can live my truth as I form relationship.

Why make an issue of the “sin” (whatever it is) when God took care of the sin issue on the cross?  Why focus on other’s perceived sins rather than focus on all of our need for God in our lives?  If God forgave all sins, then my sins and yours are indeed forgiven. The issue is what are we going to do with God’s gift? And if I keep pointing out your sins, while pretending I don’t have any, or any as bad as yours, why on earth would you want to hear about God’s forgiveness and love?  But if I accept you as you are, and just enjoy your company, and maybe develop a friendship, perhaps sometime you’ll see Christ in me and want to get to know Him too. 

Yes, sometimes I wish I could “fire” people with whom I disagree. But, I can’t, and it would be wrong. They are entitled to their opinions. For the sake of relationships I need to carefully pick what issues need weighing in on. Mostly it’s not worth it to lose the friendships.  I cherish friends with whom I can totally be myself, and we can agree to disagree where we do disagree. Those friends are few. Otherwise I need to ask, “will speaking my truth help or hinder this relationship?” If the latter, then I stay out of the minefield.