First Week of Advent 2025

 Though this sounds very cliché, I feel like Christmas was just yesterday, or at least the clean-up. As a child it seemed like Christmas took forever to arrive. As an adult the year passes way too quickly. But, it’s here. I’ve written before about how much I love this season of the year, but it is a bittersweet type of love. A lot of work goes in to the magic.

Yesterday I put on Christmas music and began to unpack decorations. I have way too many, but it allows for choices. I enjoy doing some things differently each year, but many things remain the same. One of the same traditions are my Santas. I have a few. Most of my Santas were gifts, so as I unpack I remember the giver. I probably should say “indulger”, because I do have quite a few Santas. I had to finally say “no more”, but that doesn’t always work. A big contributor to the collection was my brother. He, along with my husband, have curated quite a group of handsome Santa Clauses.

Santa has figured strong in my Christmas, long before I had visual reminders. Both my parents brought that magic into our lives. My dad, reportedly a late comer to the whole Santa thing, would sign little gifts “Love Santa” that he’d found for us and put in our stockings. I still have a couple of those gift tags, loving how he continued to do this up to his death.  My mom was the biggest Santa lover. We never had a fireplace or a chimney (unless you count the far from realistic cardboard one she found and used for many years), but she still convinced us Santa would find a way in. Long after we knew our parents were Santa, we still loved helping to weave that bit of magic into each Christmas.

Strange for a strong, Christian home to carry on such a tradition. One might think this would conflict with the true meaning of Christmas. That conflicted my dad in the early years of their marriage. How can you promote Santa and not diminish the Christ child in the manger? I am living proof you can.  Santa was a huge part of our Christmas season, but he never took prime place. The birth of Jesus always had center stage. No one tried to intertwine the stories (“Santa knows that we’re all God’s children, and that makes everything right”, or pictures of Santa kneeling at the crèche were not part of our traditions). We grew up knowing that Jesus was a real as we were. His was not a fantasy story. Though as children we believed there was a Santa, Santa never stepped into Jesus’ place in our Christmas. He just added a bit more magic to the season.

My parents did a great job of balancing all of this. And therein lies the bittersweet. My Dad’s been gone 20 years, my mom 30, as well as my husband’s parents. Most of my traditions tie into them, so every step I take during the season reminds me that they are no longer with us. We are also missing my two sisters. We, like a lot of families, find the season sometimes difficult to manage because we miss those who are gone. Grandparents, Step-Parents, Siblings, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Friends, Spouse, these losses leave huge holes that are especially difficult to fill over holidays.  For me the bittersweet comes knowing so much of Christmas is tied to those who have gone. Every ornament, food choice, piece of music holds a reminder of Christmases past.  Sweet, sweet memories that infuse everything I do during the season, and a little sour because we no longer have them here to share.

An important part of my tradition is setting up my manger scene. For many years my nephew set up the scene for me, and we would talk through the birth of Jesus. My manger scene is from Bethlehem, which makes it quite special, coming all that distance to me by way of my husband’s parents. And the characters continued to “travel” as my nephew “rode” the camels throughout our house to find a place for the wise men. They weren't at the manger, so we had to "ride" them around to find their place where they would wait to arrive on the scene. And somehow they have survived.

There is great comfort and blessing in setting up that scene. God came and met us here in our space through Jesus, Emmanuel, God with us. That first Christmas was anything but glitter, and yet there were angels and shepherds, music and rejoicing. “Unto you is born this day a Savior Who is Christ the Lord.”  What happened that night so long ago, bringing God into our existence as a man (fully human and yet still fully God) is nothing short of magical. Not magic, like Santa, but magical, mysterious, amazing, beyond comprehension. And He came for me and my family. He came for you. He’s here walking through our grief and our joys. God is with us! 

He is with us as we prepare for Christmas 2025. Sure, we can push Him into a corner and focus only on the secular glitz of Christmas. I have a lot of that glitz around my home.  But we can also purposely focus on the source of all this celebration, Jesus the Christ, the originator of Christ-mass. In Latin the word translated “mass” means “sent”. We worship and then are sent out to share our faith. Christmas then is sending out the message of Christ. Our job as Christians is to keep Christ in Christmas, and I believe we do this by sharing our lives with others, being the flesh and blood arms and voices that bring the Good News to those who do not know. God is with us, and we are His ambassadors, the ones sent out.

That doesn’t mean we have to dump Santa. It just means that, like my parents, we put Christ at the center and celebrate His birth on this special day.

So here we are; it’s December again. As we celebrate this first week of Advent, let’s remember what we are really celebrating, making sure Christ is front and center of all we do and share. If nothing else, when we sense the bittersweet of the holidays, remembering that God is with us, right here in the midst of our grief and challenges. That is amazing! This is Christmas.

Thanks for Goodness

 

We just finished watching the final chapter of the movie Wicked. I first became entranced by this story reading the book by Gregory Maguire, and then totally captivated by the play, having the privilege of seeing it on stage in London’s West End, and now the movies. I enjoy stories that give us the “other side”, and this makes us look at Baum’s Wicked Witch of the West’s story through different eyes. Maybe she’s not so wicked.

We see people like that too. They may present themselves one way and then we get the opportunity to see them through a different lens and suddenly everything changes. Too many times we view people through the lens of labels – good, bad, tall, short, fat, thin, Republican, Democrat, straight, gay, Christian. Whatever those labels have come to mean, that’s how we see the people who wear the label. But sometimes we are allowed to see behind the curtain, to meet the actual person and they often defy their label. “She’s nothing like I thought she would be.”

What a blessing to have been a teacher. I met students with lots of labels. I had the opportunity to see them as the people, beyond the labels. As a result, when I hear a label, I see a student. Their names and faces stand out from words like trans, gay, autistic. My students taught me to drop the labels and just seek to see the person. I am forever grateful for that lesson.

Once a fellow teacher asked me how I, as a Christian, could stand being around all these “unbelievers” everyday?  Wow, the question left me stunned. I’d, thankfully, never thought of my fellow teachers or students in that way. And that’s what I told the questioner, as well as asking what type of witness for Jesus would I be if I saw “us” versus “them” or “them” as the enemy, someone hard to “stand”. Too often we allow the labels (or presumed labels, because in this case there were a lot of believers teaching alongside us) get in the way of really seeing the people and all they have to offer us.

The final film features my favorite song from Wicked, “For Good”. The song reminds me of all the people who have changed me, because I knew them. The list of my students could go on forever, so many touched and changed my life for good. And friends who continue to make me a better person by being in my life.

The words “for good” can take on several meanings.  I can be permanently changed, “changed for good”, and I can be changed for the positive, “for good”.  Good people are kind and encouraging. They love unconditionally, seeking the best in the other. How lovely to be told you’ve impacted another’s life “for good”.  Even better to imagine you’ve made a permanent impact – for good. Goodness is most importantly part of the Fruit of the Spirit. All of us professing Christians should be and give good.

So we come to Thanksgiving this week. We have this special day to give thanks for the good that has occurred in our lives, and for the people who have changed us “for good”. Whenever the song “For Good” sets on repeat in my head, I think of my sister, Leah. “Because I knew her, I’ve been changed for good.” I think of how blessed I’ve been with family (both from birth and my chosen family) who have played such crucial roles in making me a better human. I can only hope I’ve done a little of the same for them. Then there are my friends who hold me up and daily seek and encourage the best in me. I’ve been richly blessed for good and with good.

During this season of giving thanks, let’s make sure we let people know how grateful we are for their presence in our lives. Let’s make sure they know that because we’ve known them, we’ve been changed “for good”.

Happy Thanksgiving.

 

“For Good” from the musical Wicked, music and lyrics by Stephen Schwartz

Forgiveness

 

Many years ago (and forgive me if I’ve told this story before, it’s a favorite) my young nephew taught me a beautiful lesson about forgiveness.  My nephew and our chosen son (whom my nephew refers to as “uncle”) were wrestling downstairs. After realizing he wasn’t going to win this battle, my nephew resorted to name calling. I don’t remember what the actual words were, but they were silly and meaningless, hurtful only in my nephew’s eyes. The rest of us laughed.

My nephew ran out of the room and up the stairs. After waiting a while for him to return, and certainly after life had moved on downstairs, I found him sitting on the stairs, in tears. When asked what was the matter, he replied, “I called Uncle by a bad name.”  I said it really wasn’t a bad name, just a name you meant to be mean. I suggested he go down and let his Uncle know he was sorry.  “I can’t”, my nephew replied. Why not? “It’s too hard.”  We sat a while longer and then, after reminding him all he needed to do was return to the room, I left him alone.  A while later my nephew rejoined us. He took the long way around the room towards his uncle. We watched his slow progress. It was almost painful to watch. Finally, he reached his uncle. He came around behind him and leaned in to whisper, “I’m sorry I called you a bad name.”  Our son reached around and engulfed him in a hug, telling him everything was ok. He was forgiven.

It is so hard to say “I’m sorry.”  It is particularly hard to ask for forgiveness.  What if our pride holds us back? What if they don’t want to forgive us? What if they don’t even like us anymore? The longer we wait, the harder it is to approach the person. All manner of worst case scenarios go through our heads. But if we push ourselves to go and make amends, and the person forgives us, there is no greater feeling.

As it is with people, so it is with God. He waits patiently for us to come and confess while we drag our feet and beat ourselves up. I realize many times we are not even remorseful, but most times if we are aware of what we’ve done, we do wish to make amends. But it is hard to admit we were in the wrong, and it’s hard to actually say the words “I’m sorry.”

To take this a step farther, I have a friend who wrote a book on forgiveness. He pointed out that it costs to forgive. The bigger the offense, the more difficult it is to forgive. Many times we feel like we wouldn’t accept their confession and forgive, we are just too hurt. Knowing how complicated and difficult it is to forgive, perhaps we’d be more careful with just throwing out “sorry”. It’s almost flip. If we instead of “sorry” were to ask for forgiveness, we’d sound more sincere, and we’d give the person we offended the opportunity to not forgive.  “Sorry” doesn’t allow for that.

Fortunately for my nephew, our son loves him very much, and was more than willing to forgive. All my nephew needed to do was re-approach his uncle and express his sorrow by nothing more than wanting to be in his presence again.  Amazingly, that is God’s response to us, but His open forgiveness cost a lot. Jesus Christ died in our place so we could be in a right relationship with God. Our forgiveness, our wonderful relationship with God as Father, came at a huge cost.

What if my nephew had never apologized?  His uncle would have still forgiven him and their relationship continued, but chances are it would be stilted for a while. Sometimes our pride and fear keeps us from seeking forgiveness. The other person may be graceful and keep our relationship anyway, but until we actually deal with the offense, the relationship can never be complete.

What if my son hadn’t accepted the apology? That’s our worst fear, isn’t it? We’ve done something so awful they will never love us again. But if we truly love someone, we can’t help but forgive, even at the cost of the pain caused by the offender.  Forgiveness doesn’t remove the pain from the one forgiving. That comes, hopefully, with time. But forgiveness does reopen the relationship.

God’s forgiveness is ever waiting for us. He’s always ready to open His arms and accept us in. Our salvation is secure in Christ’s sacrifice, so we don’t need to fear we’ve done something too awful for God to forgive. He forgave all our sins on the cross long before we committed them.  But when we sin, the relationship has a wedge in it, like my nephew and his uncle. There is a block in communication. It was never on our son’s part, but our nephew didn’t know that, until he re-approached his uncle. When we sin, our sin breaks our communication with God, and we can’t restore that without confession of what we’ve done. God is always waiting to reopen the lines.

When I was a youth pastor, there was an occasion when I inadvertently hurt a student. It wasn’t malicious on my part, but the student felt I had mistreated them. I asked for forgiveness, but none was given. The student finished high school and went on to college without our brokenness being healed. While still in college, the student volunteered to be part of our summer mission project. We always took a group of college and high school kids to a less advantaged area in our state. They would conduct worship services and lead a vacation Bible school week.  We lived very closely together in a church basement for that week. I was puzzled by this student’s desire to join the team.

During our preparations prior to the trip, we studied the work of the Holy Spirit in us. We talked about how the Holy Spirit can help us do anything. This student raised her hand and asked, looking me straight in the eye, “even forgive?” Yes, especially forgive. And in that moment she forgave me. What an incredible experience for us both. It took a long time, years, but through the power of the Holy Spirit in her, she was able to accept my apology from years back and to forgive me. We had a great week on that trip, something I never believed would happen.

Is there someone we need to forgive, whether they’ve even asked for it or not? God forgave us long before we came and asked. Is there someone we need to go to and seek forgiveness? God will give us the strength to do that, just as He helps us open up our lives to Him and seek His forgiveness. The joy when both the asking and the forgiveness come together is one of the most amazing things in this life.

Extraordinary Creatures

 

Another election passed, another week of government shutdown, another year of progress clogging polarity. I get so tired of all of this infighting and nothing being accomplished. Oh, we hear about great, big wonderful things happening, but that doesn’t help the person putting back groceries at the store when they don’t have enough money to buy it. It doesn’t help the homeless people find homes (and the ones who don’t find the mental health they need to once again want a home). In the church the polarity has also found roots that seem to strangle out God’s message of oneness.

C. S. Lewis, in The Weight of Glory, wrote that there are no ordinary people. We are all eternal beings. It’s just our destinies that differ, “one to become glorious beings and the other our worst nightmare.” Here on earth we walk together and we have an impact. Much of what we see is the impact on the negative side – wars, infighting, genocide, as well as government shutdowns and leaders who seem more focused on what they want than on what the people they represent need or desire.

In Nigeria for example, one group of people is focused on killing off everyone who doesn’t agree with them, that includes Christians and Muslims from different sects. I believe the only thing stopping that kind of all out slaughter in our country is our law bound civility that grew our of Judeo-Christian values. Most of us don’t see killing those we disagree with as an answer. However, we can understand wanting our country to be filled with people we can agree with.

Is that even possible? Can any country reach total agreement on the issues affecting us? Part of what makes the western world tick is the plurality of the people living there. For the most part we’ve learned to find compromise and ways to live together. In the countries that can’t, well, they are seeking a state with only Christians, or only Muslims, or only Buddhists, or only whites; everyone else must leave or die.  In that light, American isn’t so bad.

But those extreme feelings are present here. Talk today is about making American white (or whiter) again (which it never was, unless you dismiss our First People, which too many do). In order to do that we are shipping out thousands of people who came here to find a better life. Were some of them dangerous criminals? Of course, since all of us are sinners and prone to follow our sinful desires. But most of these immigrants were here working hard, raising their families here and protecting their families back in their country of origin. Their only “crime” was being here illegally.  They were doing us all a service, working in jobs most of us would prefer not to do.  Why can’t we talk more about ways to find them temporary work status on their way to citizenship rather than gathering them up and deporting them?

There is a lot of talk about how white people are being discriminated against by laws meant to even the playing field between whites and people of color. So we are cutting off aid to programs that helped encourage the disadvantaged (whether by color or gender). But yet, if offered, who wouldn’t take an advantage to help them get farther in life? Most whites in America have had exactly that for their entire life.

Another example comes when we hear comments from our leaders about South African blacks being “racist” against whites. You think? After all the years of apartheid with minority whites pushing the black majority under their feet you can only imagine there would be some racists feelings and actions coming from the other direction. And it would be a lot worse had not Nelson Mandela and Bishop Tutu been in leadership when the tables turned.  In our country Dr. Martin Luther King helped keep the revenge violence to a minimum with his example of peaceful resistance, which ultimately brought about a beginning of civil rights and true equality.

Mandela, Tutu and King were all Christians, trying to live out their faith during the most difficult of circumstances. All three resisted their human drive towards vengeance and called for calmer action. All three are shining examples of Lewis’ extraordinary people (if there are “no ordinary” people, are we not left with “extraordinary”?)  All three are now “glorious beings”, enjoying the only place God promises to have total equality and freedom – home with Him. What do our extremist, right wing Christians here in America think Heaven is going to look like – white?  Aren’t they going to be surprised. The very Bible they refer to was written by people of color.

Lewis said we all walk this earth together, making an impact. I’m afraid the negative quotient is winning.  Even the impact the Christian church is having in our country is negative, with certain groups of people being deemed unfit for God’s Kingdom. But I have yet to find where in the Bible it says true followers of God are white, straight, and cis gendered. The Bible simply calls us to believe – believe we are all sinners, unworthy of God’s love; believe God wanted to have a relationship with us, regardless of our sin nature; believe that God gave Jesus to pay the penalty for our sin, in our place, so we could have that relationship, not as something we earn, but as something we accept as a gift.

God created humans in His image. All of us, as Lewis said, are eternal beings, capable of amazing things. We see that every day, even if the negatives clog our vision at times.  We are all extraordinary creatures. God desires all of us to be in relationship with Him. That should be the Christian Church’s singular message. God never called Christians to fix the world, because we couldn’t even if we wanted to. We are a broken mess.  Only God can “fix” the world. But we can become His people. We can let Him work in our lives to be our best selves. Through God we can produce in our life Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness and Self-Control. Think what the world could be like if Christians focused on letting God bear His Fruit through us, rather than trying to fix things via the political spectrum.

There are no ordinary people. All of us are creatures made in the image of our Creator. Let’s seek to look at the people around us as God’s creations, made in God’s image. It might make us look at others a little differently.

Sharing the Warmth

 

Fall is upon us! I absolutely love fall. On our way to the beach we pass a U-pick pumpkin patch. The orange against the green is one of my favorite color combinations. And don’t get me started on sun flowers, they always make me smile. We’ve already had a couple of storms, which around here bring wind and rain. I’m not a big fan of wind. I don’t mind that they bring down the leaves, although a friend pointed out this week that the wind always seems to come “just when the colors are coming out”. I do mind when the wind knocks down branches (and sometimes trees) and the power going out. I’ve talked about my dislike of that before.

We spent today pruning branches, raking leaves and cleaning up debris from our recent storm. It felt good to be outdoors on a crisp, sunny fall day. I wore myself out, but the sense of accomplishment is great.

I like the nesting feel of fall. Everyone sort of cuddles into the warmth of their home – fires in the fireplace, scented candles, a good book, left over Halloween candy.  The sense of security can come with having a place to tuck into. I, like many of us, take all of this for granted.

This week driving to the grocery store there was a family sitting on a street corner. The mother had a young child on her lap, two other children were beside her. The father had a sign asking for help – any help.  Obviously they don’t have a place to nest that is warm and safe. I can’t imagine. To make it worse, I didn't do anything but drive by.

There are a lot of people fearful of how they will make it through today, let alone tomorrow. The economy is scary. Thousands are without work. With our current government shutdown, even people with jobs are not getting paid and don’t know what they are going to do about rent and food and other bills. The shutdown also affects people like the family on the street corner, cutting off SNAP aide to the many who depend upon it for food.

When we were first married, my husband was laid off. He was without work for many months before finding a job, followed finally, a few months later, by being rehired by his original company. My job at the church didn’t pay a lot, and after we’d paid the rent, not a lot was left. Unemployment helps, but not a lot.  A friend found my husband a seasonal job working for Nordstrom in the fragrance section. Did that make you smile? It did me, but the women behind the counters were so happy to have my husband to refill their products and carry the heavy loads from the stockroom to their counters. The job ended just before Christmas. Those women packed Steve up with a couple huge Nordstrom shopping bags. There were all sorts of sample items, promotional gifts and the like. What a gift! We wrapped up most of the items and gave them as Christmas presents to our family. Their kindness has never been forgotten.

Random acts of kindness are a great gift to give, especially during this time of year. Whether it’s giving the family on the street corner money or food or an old coat, or letting the person behind you in line at the store step in front of you or paying for their coffee, or raking a neighbor’s leaves – looking for ways to ease someone’s burden is a terrific gift. Any time we can find a way to give back is special. Giving our time, sharing a meal, there are just so many ways we can make a difference in an otherwise dark world.

And kindness doesn’t have to cost anything. We can just be kind to everyone we encounter. Sometimes that is a rarity in our stressful world. It doesn’t cost much to say hello, ask how the cashier is doing, write a text of encouragement, send an email to someone you haven’t spoken with in a while. Sometimes even just smiling is an act of kindness. I smiled at someone in the grocery store, and she stopped, commented on my smile and thanked me for sharing it! We just never know.

I’ve obviously been thinking a lot about what I should be doing. I wish I'd known what was best to have done for that family. Probably it’s time to stop thinking and just get doing. Happy Fall!