Beauty Worship

 

September 2022

We don’t notice how much we worship money, wealth and beauty. We adore the beautiful and successful, hanging posters on our walls or purchasing magazines that show us their glorious lives and beautiful faces. We pay actors and athletes amazing salaries for being talented, yes. But there are other talented people in our world who are not as beautiful.

I have my students read a story called “Life in the Iron Mills” by Rebecca Harding Davis. In the story, an iron mill worker makes beautiful art pieces out of the slag. The owner and investors come one day to take a tour. They come upon this man, and are amazed at his art. They talk about how it would stand against other art they have seen and how well it would sell. They talk about the possibility of setting up a studio for the man. This entire conversation is within the worker’s hearing, and then it’s like they awaken to where they are. They see the rough, dirty, tired man and the filth and darkness all around them, and shake off their momentary vision. They leave without another word to the man. For a brief moment he shared their dream as they talked, and then it was over, back to the fires and back breaking work.

Like those investors, we can convince ourselves that art (or beauty in general) can only come from something that already looks pleasing. How much talent lies in either? We don’t expect beauty from less pleasing places or people, and we don’t like lingering and looking, almost fearing their situation will wear off on us. Our city slums and homeless camps? We have no idea if talent is there, but we don’t go looking

Ishiguro’s book Never Let Me Go raises the question ‘what makes a person human?’ What gives a person a soul? One character believes it’s the ability to create art. But when the unexpected create art, the masses are unwilling to see it. To them it is easier and better to believe these are not wholly human. Not unlike how we look at people of color, or people who are different from us – it’s easier to decry their color or differences and believe that makes them lesser humans, if human at all. And that makes it easy to despise and mistreat. So goes the history of mankind – you are not like me, so I will kill you and be free of any who are not like me.

And Christians are as guilty as the next person of this behavior. Skin color has been one area, many slave owners believed their slaves had no souls. There was the belief that the Bible taught this, something to do with God’s curse of Noah’s son Ham. And yet, if you read the account in Genesis, God didn’t curse Ham, Noah did. And Ham became the father of many nations, yes some south to Africa, but also Canaan. God didn’t curse Black people.

When I was a youth director, I had a pastor tell me I was teaching leadership in the wrong way. I encouraged all the kids to try their hand at leading something. The pastor informed me that this wasn’t the way. You take the most popular kids (athletes, cheerleaders, most beautiful) and you put them up front, and all the others will follow. So, if that worked, I’d just be training followers? No, those followers would aspire to be like the upfront kids. So, somehow they would become athletes and cheerleaders? The average kids would become beautiful, just by watching the beautiful leaders? What I actually found was that this pastor didn’t believe the average, plain, not classically popular kids could become leaders; in fact, they shouldn’t. Those kids don’t make Christianity attractive.

I didn’t follow his advice. And I discovered a beauty far beyond what he imagined, as kids found their gifts and used them, becoming leaders in their own way. Some of those kids are now pastors themselves.

With our incessant focus on the beautiful, the superficial, and becoming that ourselves, we miss the point. We miss a lot of people. We fail to follow the pattern Jesus modeled – the first shall be last, and the last first. Whom are we overlooking? Whom are we blind to as we walk through our lives? All wear the image of Christ, as there is nothing more beautiful.

 August 2023

This is the last of my writing from last summer. 

Family

 

September 5, 2022

It is Labor Day Weekend. Summer is winding down, I’m back to work and feeling a bit melancholy. We had a wonderful summer, days with friends and family, playing groupies to my brother’s band, sitting in the sun, reading lots of books, occasionally doing something traditionally productive like gardening or laundry. This weekend I had time with my oldest and closest friend (at another concert) and with my family (playing games and eating barbecue). An almost perfect time.

Of course, it can’t be perfect. We get in the way. Life gets in the way. My friend was recovering from bronchitis and her coughing made others wary of Covid. My family has its own occasional digs and worries that pop up in their heads during gatherings, jealousies, illness, competitiveness. But those things aside, it was lovely to be together, laughing and reminiscing and still choosing to spend time together, despite our baggage.

So many people avoid their family. Even after Covid drove us inside and away from others for months, some still don’t see the point of family. Friends, that’s another story, but family not so much. The idea that my sister and I would see each other every day, take turns cooking meals to share together every evening would blow some minds. We simply enjoy each other’s company best. She’s the easiest person to be with. We even enjoy sitting in silence. It’s a privilege.

The other side of all this is my need for alone time. When everyone left yesterday I was exhausted, and I hadn’t had to do a whole lot. It was the impact of having people around for eight hours of nonstop conversation and fun. While it’s happening, it’s great, but after it’s over I am done.  Sometimes I wish I had my brother’s extravert personality that draws strength from being with others. I enjoy it, most times, but pay on the other side.

I saw that in my students during our on-line school. Some were thriving, being alone most of the day, not having to be around the crowds. But others were fading away, depressed and lonely and certainly not gaining any strength from faces on a computer screen. We need what we need. It wasn’t healthy for any of us. Introverts need people too, though we can convince ourselves otherwise. And it didn’t help any of us to have only ourselves for company.

“It is not good for man to be alone.”  Within the creation accounts in Genesis, God makes this statement. He walked and talked with Adam every day. Adam also had all the animals around him, occupying his time naming them. Some could even talk or at least communicate – the serpent could, and no one seemed surprised at this.  But God observed it was not enough. Adam needed more. So God made him a partner.  Even in a sinless world, with God there to walk with you, and talk with you and answer all your questions, it wasn’t enough.  That has always amazed me. Perhaps it’s just having someone like me, which God certainly is not on most every level.

If we needed companionship from someone like our self in a sinless world, how much more that companionship must have been cherished once the world was broken by sin. To find a husband or a wife or a friend who would listen, and understand and walk with you must have been some of the best life could offer. Especially amidst the violence and evil that also began to surround them.

It makes it all the more sad that some people choose to cut themselves off from others, perhaps because they’ve been hurt or abused. It seems preferable to go it alone. But alone isn’t what’s best for us. I am so thankful for weekends like this, where I have shared time with some of my favorite people. I don’t want to take those times for granted, because I am so lucky to have them at all.

 

July 2023

My family was all together on the Fourth of July this year. There used to be a lot of us – grandparents, aunts and uncles, four kids, spouses. I remember a few Christmas’ with a dozen people around my table. Now there are 7. It was a delight to have our nephew choose to join us. We usually see him only twice a year. But, he chose to spend much of the time alone on his phone. When it was just one or two of us, he’d hang around and talk, but when we were all here – too many. I get it. But at dinner, with all of us present, sitting around my dining table out on the deck, I was in my special place.

 

I am thankful for my family and our connections. I know we have something a lot of people do not. It’s not like we don’t aggravate each other, because we do that probably better than anyone else could. But we also enjoy each other’s company and choose to spend time together. I thank my parents for that, and look forward to someday all sitting around a table together again.

Judging the Book by its Cover

 

August 2022

Years ago, waiting for church to begin, I watched a group of young adults enter and sit down. They were dressed like they’d just left the clubs and came to church. They had a young child with them, dressed in a suit. I thoroughly judged them, not necessarily as unfit for attending church, but ill prepared to do so. Makes me wince to even remember that. The service began, and midway the pastor announced a child dedication. Most often it’s young parents bringing a baby for dedication, but this day it was one of those young people walking up with the little guy in the suit. I remember it very clearly because I was so thoroughly humbled. The pastor said something like, “our prayer is that you will one day come to know Jesus as your Savior, just as your mother has so recently come to know Him.”

Walt Wangerine wrote about a woman, Yolanda, who had an unruly child who had disrupted the service multiple times, asking Pastor Walt if “there is room in this church for me?”  The young woman at my church was probably wondering the same thing. It takes a lot of courage to walk into a church on Sunday. I wonder how many strangers actually do it? I don’t even like to walk into new churches.

I am reading Dane Orland’s Surprised by Jesus. He talks about how Jesus redefines the “in” group. The religious leaders had such issue with all the people Jesus ate and fellowshipped with. They were outsiders, wrong for someone of His stature. The religious leaders would never stoop so low. Simon, the Pharisee, in Luke thoroughly judged the woman who came in and knelt at Jesus’ feet. “If only he knew who she really was,” Simon thought. And unknown to Simon, Jesus not only knew who the woman was, He also really knew who Simon was.

The church has made it so difficult for people to come and feel welcome. Even when externally we offer a handshake and a cup of coffee. Would we invite them home with us? Do they feel they have to hide who they really are in order to be accepted?  If they shared about their divorce, their alcoholism, their homosexuality, their abortion would they still be welcome? On equal footing?

I am glad churches have become less formal, although my mother would struggle with coming into the sanctuary in casual clothes.  I know different clothes cause us to behave in different ways, but I like that today people could walk in and probably see someone wearing what they have on – jeans, t-shirt, normal clothes - rather than suits and dresses. Even pastors have stopped wearing ties. My dad would struggle with that, my grandfather even more, since he wore a tie gardening. J  But what does it matter what we wear if we are still judging people who walk through the door? Or would if we could see inside them?

Ortland reminds us that we are all sinners saved by grace. We need to remember that every day as we encounter others. And those sins are not on a grading scale. Sin is sin, and every one of them nailed Jesus to the cross. My sins are not better than anyone else’s. It doesn’t matter if I have never done X, I’ve done Y and that misses God’s standard just the same. Thank God He doesn’t judge us by what we’ve done or haven’t done. No one would be admitted.

But Jesus paid that price for us, so that sin is no longer the impediment for our being part of God’s kingdom. But sin continues to plague us, and separate us and fill us with condescending judgement. How wrong is that? How backwards? God went to great lengths to forgive us, and we continue to use what has been forgiven to separate us from each other.  Part of that is our refusal to admit sin is still there. Yes, Jesus paid the price, but we will sin. We think we shouldn’t be sinning, and so we have to pretend we are not. We pretend because it is impossible not to sin.

If we could just admit that sin is still in us, and no sin is any worse than another when it comes to separating us from God, maybe we could do a better job of opening our hearts and doors to fellow sinners, rather than judging them unfit for our company.

 

July 2023

Before school ended I learned that one of my fellow teachers was a Christian. I was surprised. And there it is again, that judging a book by its cover rather than seeing people as Jesus sees them. I was both humbled and delighted. I wonder what people think of me when I don’t know anyone is watching? I hope they can still see Jesus.

Who is God?

 

July 2022

If you were to ask me, “who/what is God?” I am not sure what I would/should answer. Very unsatisfactory. The words I know too often meet with ears that cannot understand. Creator of the Universe, Savior of mankind, The Great Designer– which one would you pick? “What about that Old Testament God? The one who keeps ordering everyone’s deaths, the warrior and punisher?” Sovereign Lord with all rights over us, the Grand Potter who can smash his pottery whenever it displeases him. “What type of God allows children to be killed in their school, or cancer, or rape – you pick the badness, why would a loving God allow any of that? What type of God is that?” God of free will, God who allows us to make our own choices?

Most often my opportunity to address those questions comes in my senior English class where we talk about worldviews and begin with Theism, specifically Christian Monotheism and its impact on Western Civilization. Of course, we proceed from there, as many have deemed theism a failure and have searched for meaning via other avenues, most specifically science.  Once Theism is defined and discussed (and usually dismissed by the majority), it continues to haunt the students all year. So we veer back to it and try to answer their questions.

Christianity is so misunderstood, thanks in no small part to Christians. My students see Christianity as a rigid, judgmental religion that demands much and is lived ineptly. Christians really have to be pretty empty minded to follow such rot. And God? Well, if there is a God, why is the world in the mess it is in? Jesus? Good teacher, perhaps. None of the stories, history, are really even known. Easter is totally foreign beyond candy and pastels.

Sometimes I sit there and feel totally overwhelmed by the enormity of their lack. Where to even begin? And, being that I am in school teaching a class, how much dare I? I correct the blatant errors – Christianity is the cause of all the wars in history, wrong. Most recently, America is a Christian country where the majority of people living here are Christian and keep telling those of us who don’t believe how to live our lives. Wrong again. I asked them, knowing the answer, how many of them were Christians, or had been raised in a Christian home, or had multiple friends who were Christians in Christians homes?  Well, they didn’t know any, or many, certainly none of them. So? Had they not heard of the squeaky wheel? The Christians they hear in the political realm are not the majority, just the loudest.

Over time I’ve come to believe that the best answer is me. And I don’t mean that egotistically. Once they know I am a believer in God and Jesus (and sometimes it takes all year to discover that – someone has to ask), then my life, my person, what they know of me comes into view. Do I match their stereotype? I try hard not to. They should know I am not empty headed. I value thinking and observation and ideas. They should also know I try not to be judgmental of them (although that is one of my issues), and love and accept them for who they are. I had a student ask if I was a Christian, followed by did I believe that God destroyed Sodom to kill all the gay people? Loaded question, because this student is gay. But what an opportunity to talk. (God destroyed Sodom because the people of Sodom were full of all manner of evil. Sin. And the Bible teaches that we are all sinners. Sin is missing the mark, and the mark can be represented, in part, by the 10 Commandments. The Commandments are a packaged deal, break one, break them all. So maybe I’ve never murdered anyone, or stolen anything from my neighbor, but certainly I have been jealous and I have a lot of gods in my life. The student then said, “well no one could keep all that”. And I said, ”precisely”. That is the point. We are unable to meet the mark. And that’s where Jesus comes in. And I left it at that).

 Given the opportunity, I challenge those who are seeking to read the Bible for themselves. Start with the New Testament and read the Gospels. Jesus said, “if you’ve seen me, you’ve seen the Father.” Jesus is the perfect visual of Who and What God is. Those who take up the challenge are often surprised by what they find. Jesus is surprising. But wasn’t he just a man?  A man who claimed to be God – I often bring in C S Lewis’ line about “Liar, Lunatic or Lord.” Jesus can’t be a good teacher and crazy, or lying. So they have to reckon with that. Jesus really is the very best answer to whom God is, acceptance, grace, forgiveness, and then there is the sacrifice part.  Our need met by God. Why would God do that? That’s the real question.

 

July 2023

The same student this past year had another profound insight. I had asked, regarding the character Pip in Great Expectations, “What did he really want?” And they came up with the usual, and I pushed them to go deeper. He wanted to be loved, to be accepted for who he is. He wanted to like himself. But he was asking that of the people around him, who so often failed him. I asked the class “what do you really want?” They agreed they wanted the same, basic things. I asked if it was ever possible to fully achieve that? And this student said, “only if there really is a God.”