First Snowfall Freak Out Lady

 

Do you find the news becoming overwhelming? I have to take it in small doses, otherwise I think my head will spin off. Weather, war, politics, economy, violence, plane and car accidents, all around us flows the chaos. It’s no wonder we have become more anxious. To hear it from the news, we are all going to hell in a handbasket – quickly and soon.

I tease a friend about being the “first snowflake freak out lady”, but that is the pot calling the kettle black (have I used enough clichés yet?). I’ve written before about how I seem to invent things to be anxious about when there is no reason to be anxious. I listen to the news and begin to believe any one of those things could happen to me, or someone I love, at any time.  I’m the “first disaster freak out lady”. Any suggestion of trouble, and I’m sure it will somehow affect me and mine.

Our son called to ease my mind about the vicious flooding they were having in North Eastern Australia. I hadn’t know there was vicious flooding in North Eastern Australia. Now that I did, I was terribly anxious about their living so near a river and a dam. Thank you very much for the information. One whiff of that first snowflake of disaster, and I’m off.

And don’t get me started about anxiety contagion. My first snowflake friend can start in on her anxiety and the next thing I know, I’m having it too. My husband was working on our taxes, and his anxiety was creeping into me. I guess it’s lovely I feel their pain, but it’s their anxiety, why make it mine? I guess because if I don’t have a reason to be anxious, I’ll take on yours.

Our political climate makes me anxious about “what’s next?” What is the next big change, or dismissal or threat? I know a whole lot of people who are experiencing anxiety over the constant input of politics – so in addition to my own anxieties about what’s going on, I empathetically take on theirs as well.

Anxiety is the feeling of being out of control, not knowing what to do next, or what will happen next or how can I best deal with this thing?  And since we can’t always take care of these situations (record rain fall in Australia, war in Ukraine, firing of government workers, taxes or snowfall), we get anxious and stressed.

What to do? The Bible tells us to be “anxious for nothing, but in everything make your requests known to God.”  Feeling anxious? Pray about it, give the issues to God. Doesn’t that sound easy?  It is not. I like my anxieties, even if they drive me insane. I like trying to control the uncontrollable and failing each time. It’s crazy, but I must like it, because I find it very hard to give my anxiety over to God.  In another place the Bible teaches us to “cast all our cares on Him”. We are told that God knows every sparrow that falls, and the number of hair on our head – so he should be able to know and handle our cares.

We all long for peace of mind, which, like a good night’s sleep, is priceless. Our minds are far from peaceful when we fill it with anxiety. Rather than peace we find ourselves dreading tomorrow, fretting over today and frustrated and guilty with yesterday.

Last year was a minefield of anxiety bringing experiences for me. My sister was ill with pancreatic cancer and the treatments she went through to try and hold off the inevitable. I was finishing out my last year of teaching while cleaning up my space and preparing to retire. Two of my friends lost their husbands. One of my medications became impossible to find. We were in the final months of a highly contentious Presidential election. Everywhere you looked there was trouble around the world and next door. Then my sister died, my brother decided to move away, I tried new medications and we elected a new president. And it hadn’t even yet begun to snow.

Everyday my prayer was for God to take my anxiety, my fears, my stress. And every day I tried to exert some control over my life to help God in the process.  Somedays I truly let go and felt God carry me through. Those were amazing days. The issues were still all around me, but I wasn’t eaten up with worry and anxiety over them. But then there were the days I refused to let go, and struggled for a good night’s rest and any type of peace. Letting go is a constant battle. But I am learning to cast my cares on God. I have experienced His peace through some very difficult circumstances. 

Part of this experience of letting go came with sharing my weakness.  I let my friends and family know I was struggling with giving God the control of my life and the issues threatening to overwhelm me. I had an army of people praying for me. The experience was nothing short of amazing, to be walking through these difficulties and feel peace. To have normally overwhelming moments filled with calm rather than anxiety. Thanks to God’s hold I could walk through the hospital and hospice care without the overwhelming crush of anxiety.

We have no more control over new presidents or death then we do over the weather. There are a few things I can control, but not those and really not much of anything else. I can control stepping into each new day seeking to hand over the controls to God. I can begin with prayer and continue throughout the day. When I feel the boiling up of anxiety, I can stop and give that anxiety to God to carry for me. And if I take it back, I can start all over again. I may not be able to control the fall of snow, but I can choose to drive in it or not, and pray for safe travel for those who have to be out in it. I may not be able to do much more than cast my vote, but I can pray for my country and fulfill my civic duty at home as best I can. I may not be able to stop violence around me and in the world, but I can pray that I will be a person who offers love, kindness, and peace around me.  I can turn off the news. And when that first snowflake of chaos falls, I can pray, seek and claim God’s peace for whatever situation that comes.