Working in a church can bring a lot of challenges as well as rewards. It helped that I was a pastor’s daughter and raised in the church environment. I saw for myself that church people can be harsh task masters, fiercely loyal, judgmental, loving sinners, like all of us. I also knew well the vulnerability of church employees, also sinners. My pastor boss used to half-tease that I had no respect for the dignity of the clergy, having been raised by one.
I had rich and beautiful experiences working as a Christian
Education/Youth Director. I also had some PTSD producing moments. Women in
ministry were few and far between. Youth pastors without at least a Bachelor’s
degree from a Bible School, if not a full Master’s of Divinity were unheard of.
I was a woman with a Bachelor’s in Education and a Master’s degree, but not from
a seminary. And, I didn’t play the guitar (an inside joke regarding what a really
qualified youth director should have). But there I was, brought on staff by a
great mentor who saw in me gifts needed for his church. I wasn't qualified as some would have it, but I was qualified where God placed me.
One bone of contention came from two of my core beliefs.
I’ve since come to see these are also core principles taught throughout the Bible, but
it was more instinctual to me at the time. To be honest, Spirit led instinct
that I served. My core beliefs - first, I believe we learn best by doing. For
example, if we were doing a drama, I felt everyone should learn what goes on
behind the production, not just the adults. Everyone needed to participate in
set building, painting, set up and tear down. This especially included those
doing the acting. I wanted them to experience what it took to allow them their
15 minutes of fame on the stage. It formed a tighter unit, and produced fewer
divas and more appreciative participants. An additional benefit of this style
was putting the emphasis on serving, rather than being served.
This way of working didn't always come off polished and professional. But that wasn't the point. The point was to involve everyone in the process. They all felt a part of the bigger production, and gave it their best.
Second, I also believed every kid in the youth group had something
to offer, not just the popular, beautiful ones. The Bible teaches we’ve all
been given gifts to use. I wanted all the kids to have a variety of experiences
so they could better discover what their gifts were. This meant that sometimes
we had a sublime experience, and sometimes it was pretty cringe worthy, but
everyone was encouraged to participate and try a taste of everything. This
included the tone deaf leading the singing, the poor reader reading the
scripture, the introvert leading the devotional, and the cheerleader washing
the dishes.
My naysayers felt I was doing youth ministry all wrong. The
going trend was to put the beautiful, talented kids up front with the belief
they would entice everyone else to follow them. If you put the less beautiful,
less talented up front, you will discourage everyone else from even coming, let
alone participating. You also always wanted to present a polished, professional result. To do that you can't use lesser entities. Put the beautiful out there and you will have success.
I don’t know your experience, but in my life that never
played well. The popular and beautiful
can be quite intimidating to us mere mortals, and sometimes they can be
outright mean. Our culture isn’t unique in idolizing famous, beautiful people.
Perhaps it seems more so today, but I attribute that to social media and easy
access. Cultural influencers are all around us. We are overwhelmed with our
culture’s ideals, and this includes the church.
My instinct led me to giving other kids a chance. I didn’t
neglect the more obvious leaders, but I didn’t give them anything special by
way of my attention. I tried to give everyone my attention. I was well aware
that those kids who had “made it” out there in the secular culture weren’t
always as confident as they acted. We all have insecurities and social fears. I
tried to be sensitive, but I didn’t let those kids dominate the scene, and that
caused some issues. One issue it didn’t cause, our group thrived rather than
diminished.
It’s interesting to go through the Bible and see whom God
chose. Very few would have made the football team or become a cheerleader, let
alone a rock or movie star. The ancient cultures also valued the beautiful,
rich, first born, and mostly, men. Throughout the Bible God overturned the
world’s values. He chose those who, in the eyes of the socially, culturally
elite, were marginal. “God takes the people whom the world consigns to the
margins and brings them to the center.”* Examples that stand out would be Jacob, Joseph, David (all younger siblings) who became great leaders. And how about Rahab,
Ruth, Bathsheba Tamar – women of questionable morals in their day as well as a
couple being racially inferior (non-Jews) – all in the lineage of Jesus. Who
would expect women there at all, let alone those women? But that’s how God does business.
And it’s not that God doesn’t or can’t use the elite. He has
and does, but more often than not, He goes with the underdog. Their biggest
strength being their faith, and even that faltered along the way. The fact is
we are all fragile. We are all, as Paul refers to us in II Corinthians, clay
jars. (4:7) Some of us are just shinier jars than others, but push us off the
table and we all break. The only thing that makes us special at all is God at
work in us, what Paul refers to as the “treasure” in the jar of clay.
I found that the kids on the margins had as much to
contribute as the shinier jars. Those popular kids were going to find and use
their gifts with much greater ease, mostly because they’d be called on first.
But since all of us have gifts to share, pulling kids out of the margins and
encouraging them to find their gifts was amazing. Many of those kids went on to
serve in ministry, making an impact for the Lord
As I read the Bible more, I discovered how often God chose
weakness. Moses kept arguing with God about all he couldn’t do, and God kept
making up the difference. When we recognize our weakness, we can probably rely
on God more. If we feel we have it all together, we probably think we don’t
need God at all. At the very least we just won’t think to invite God in. Paul
spoke of his own weaknesses, especially some unnamed physical disability. He
kept asking God to remove/heal it. Instead Paul learned to minister with it,
because God taught him “when I am weak I am strong.” (II Corinthians 12:10)
Jesus was, and still is, seen as weak. What kind of
superpower leader ends up dying? And what God would ever chose to become human?
Both just show weakness. But out of what humans see as weakness came the
greatest of strengths. Jesus also taught that he didn’t come to be served, He
came to serve. He taught his disciples to do the same. Culturally, servanthood
has never been an aspiration, yet in God’s world this is what we should aspire
to.
God made, loves and died for all of us, those of us who are
culturally in and those of us who are out. He sees us as all equal, even if
society puts us in hierarchies. But the Bible is pretty clear that if we are
trying to live by and rely on our physical strengths and abilities, we won’t get
far in God’s Kingdom, where He says the first shall be last, the greatest
least. And Jesus models that for us. He is the Greatest, who stooped low to
take our sins to the cross. And human strength can limit us in God’s Kingdom,
because of our tendency to rely on our self, rather than on God’s strength and
power.
I look back on all the kids God brought into my life as a
youth leader and teacher. What a blessing. People underestimate teenagers, at
their own peril. It was a privilege to see all they have to offer. And for
those who also had Christ in their lives, I knew they were going to set their
world quietly (or maybe not so quietly) on fire. And some of the brightest were those the
world would probably not have noticed at all, at least not yet.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made
perfect in weakness.” II Corinthians 12:9
*Timothy Keller, Hope
in Times of Fear. Penguin Books 2021
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